No Longer a Selfie Queen…

Resized_20180916_162513_2827

DayleD…a tad inebriated, September 2018

I cannot guarantee the accuracy of the below information, but thought it would be interesting to put down several things I’ve found written on the internet recently while searching results of weight loss surgery down the track (from multiple sources which I have not listed).

‘Five years post-surgery, 1 in 3 people put back on the weight they’ve lost’

‘It must be highlighted that the patients with a lower initial BMI, especially those with initial BMI under 40, achieve excellent results in terms of % end weight loss’

‘Super-obese patients also had poorer weight loss results in this series. These results allow us to suggest that LSG could be routinely used as a sole bariatric technique for patients whose BMI was less than 40.’

‘After one year, the participants still in the study had lost 77% of their body weight on average, but they slid back toward to their original weight as time passed. At three years, they were still down by 70% of their original weight, and just 56% at five years.’

‘You get meaningful health changes with just a 5% weight loss, so losing 50% after five years is still a heck of a lot of improvement. These are the sickest of the sick who seek out bariatric surgery, and the vast majority of patients benefit.’

(Note: In relation to stats about post surgery weight loss/gain that are mentioned in studies, it is important to note that the main limitations of the studies are the sample size (plus the fact there is a high drop out rate over years of the sample) and also how the surgery itself is performed impact the results (i.e. big sizing bougie and longer distance from pylorus result in greater weight regain in the long term).

Resized_20180809_194150_6913BACK ON THE WEIGHT LOSS WAGON. AGAIN…

It has been years.  Years.  Since I last wrote.

I was sleeved in July 2014.

By July ’15 I had reached my lowest post-sleeve weight of 72 kg.

By July ’16 I had put on 12 kilos (back up to 84 kg).

By July ’17 I had put on an extra 20 kilos (up to 104 kg).

It’s currently October 2018, and I don’t want to post what I currently weigh.  I am too embarrassed and feel like an absolute failure.

From hitting 104 kg I stopped and stabilised for a year, and in 2018 started creeping upwards.  I wasn’t happy at 104 kg, but I consoled myself with the fact that at least that’s where I was staying and wasn’t continuing to put on weight.  As soon as that started to change, I knew I had to stop lying to myself and sort this shit out.

Again (…big sigh…)

I have had some pretty big things happen since I’ve last blogged (good and bad).  As a really brief recap…

  • Over the past two years I have gone back to my binge eating (and living on chocolate and McDonalds)
  • Have had an on/off relationship with an ex that is currently kind of in a ‘friends mainly’ stage
  • My brother passed away suddenly at age 48 from a brain aneurysm
  • I am in contact again with my biological father
  • I changed employment to a job I have absolutely no experience in and have had to learn from scratch
  • I did a cruise and left Australia for the first time in my life
  • I have a cat

Not all of the past 2 years has been negative…but most of it has been lived in a major depressive episode.

The past year, for me, has pretty much been a living nightmare.  I’ve been severely depressed and not looking after myself at all.  I’m not talking specifically about weight and eating either.  Just generally not looking after myself, in my unkempt appearance, in my untidy and unclean house, in not looking after my relationships, eating too much, spending too much, just in general everyday life.  I felt like a complete failure.

And I still do.  Life is so hard.  But I am making changes.

First up, I reached a decision that I don’t want to live this way anymore.  I am choosing not to continue to do nothing to help myself.  I have seen my doctor, seen a psychiatrist, am seeing a psychologist for counselling, am working with a coach and started training at CrossFit again, and have finally accepted some help from family and friends offering support to start cleaning up my little unit and get it in some semblance of order againIt’s a start.

Again (…another big sigh…)

I also thought that today would be a good day to start scribbling down some thoughts again, as I get a kick out of it and know I enjoy sharing my day-to-day bits and pieces with an uninterested world, lol.

So.  What it comes down to:

  • I have started CrossFit again.  But I haven’t addressed my eating as yet.  Am still consuming large amounts of frozen coke, sugar, bad fats and caffeineOne thing at a time.
  • I have changed my medication and started seeing a psychologist to help deal with my brothers sudden passing two years ago and to tackle head on my disordered eating.  Am still seeing my doctor for regular check ins and reviews on my medication…it’s a long haul thing, not a quick fix.
  • I am spring cleaning.  Yes, I have now thrown out my tax records from 1997!!  I have so much crap in my little unit.  I am making an even larger mess than I had by going through everything in my cupboards, but know that it will be worth it in the end.  It’s a bigger picture venture I’m on.
  • I am trying to mend relationships.  Depression is a very selfish disease, as in…you only think about yourself.  You get completely in a world of ‘how I am feeling’ and don’t really consider others.  Coming out on the other side, as I am now doing, it’s like a light is now shining in on my whole little world and I’m realising there are other people out there and I need to breathe again and associate.

‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got’

It seems like a never ending cycle.  Why do I think all this will work this time??

  • CrossFit – this time I’ve gone into it with a support person by my side, my brother, Jeff.  And no how matter how much my anxiety rears its ugly head, I have him by my side saying ‘you got this darlin’ (in addition to very funny, crude jokes about wall balls, boxes and snatches).  Humour, it seems, does help.
  • Medication – my doctor and I didn’t even begin to try ourselves this time.  She said that while she’d be able to guess at trying me on different medications, with my history of chronic, long-term severe depression and my history of major side effects when going onto new medication, a psychiatrist that dealt with only mental health and it’s medications day in day out would be best – better to get the specialist opinion.  And she was right.  This time we did it right, and I can honestly say it has worked wonders.  I am currently about 5 weeks in on a drug that is augmenting the medication I’ve been on for years and with a small 1mg per day on this new medication, it has helped me turned my mental health upside down.  In a good way.
  • Spring cleaning – this time around I have actually said ‘yes’ to my friends and family and called in help and support to get my house shit in order.  People are always offering, and I’m always too embarrassed with the state of my unit to say yes to assistance.  This time?  Hell yeah, let’s get in and do it.  They give me encouragement and the will to keep on with it when they’ve left for the day.
  • My relationships with others is difficult.  I’m starting to go out into the wide world and socialise again.  My friends say to me ‘we’re here’, ‘we knew what was happening’ etc.  and while it’s lovely to still have these people around me as my friends and support the main thing that I realise when I’m coming out of a depressive episode is that while they are still here for me….I haven’t been there for them.  That is the kicker.  These lovely, supportive, beautiful people are still here, and I’ve just been this big blob on the couch sleeping and not giving a shit about anyone else.  When I’m back in the living again, this shits me no end.  I don’t want to be that person, and have started ongoing counselling to help me with these issues.  I want to change.

Why do I think it’ll work this time?  Because I have to.  I have to keep trying.  And keep on.  And if I need to, keep trying again.  I’ll only have failed in life if I choose to give up.

That’s me for this week.  Just a few thoughts to keep me going on the right track.

I’ve made a start.  I feel good about that.

You guys know this acts as my own counselling right, jotting down my thoughts ‘on paper’ as it were.  You’re all my online counsellors, lol!  SUCKERS 

Until next time my friends, Dill xx

PS. One fact I cannot let go of, to keep me going – I am still, even at this weight, at a significantly lower weight than I started out at a bit over  4 years ago, which leaves me at a much better place to start my weight loss.  Again.

PPS. I named this blog ‘No longer a Selfie Queen’, and in comparison to me 3 years ago, it’s true.  However when I went to add a few photos to this blog…well, seems like I can still selfie, just a little, LOL

Advertisements

My Personal Experience with Weight Loss Surgery (Sleeve Gastrectomy)

My story – an ongoing story detailing my journey through gastric sleeve surgery (also known as Sleeve Gastrectomy or Weight Loss Surgery where a surgeon removes approximately two thirds of the stomach).  It’s like my journal, I write about my ups and downs and everyday life, just because I can, and because I enjoy it.

The tabs on this WordPress blog are as follows:

My Story – A Bit About Me:  kind of like a long introduction

Pre-op: includes my initial consult with all my specialists and feelings leading up to surgery (up to 15th July 2014)

Surgery: the actual surgery and what happened during my hospital stay (15-18 July 2014)

Post Op (first 3 months):  my weeks following surgery, how I’m feeling and going with special diets (up to 15th October 2014)

Post Op (3 months+): my weight loss journey after surgery (from October 2014-July 2015)

One Year On:  (15th July 2015) it doesn’t end here…my weight loss journey still continues

Stats and Goals: details my weight, BMI, measurements etc from start to finish (updated regularly)

My Timeline in Pictures: – photos of me from younger through to today (updated regularly), and before and after

%d bloggers like this: